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Read on for eight dating rules ripe for the breaking. Don't have sex on the first date, but be prepared to jump into bed on the third.Rules about when or whether to hit the sack with a new partner can be confusing.
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If you’re a true believer, you probably think you have to…
There's a hilarious scene in the movie Sleepless in Seattle when Tom Hanks's character contemplates getting back into the dating game and wonders if the rules have changed.
A better rule: Though you don't need to demand to know on date number two how he voted in the last presidential election, "you do eventually want to know these vital things about a potential partner," says Dr. "You might as well get things out of the way that could be deal breakers down the line." Plus, if you find out that your views are aligned—or even if they clash in just the right way—you've got some spirited and interesting conversations ahead. If you're divorced, wait one month for each year you were married before dating.
Your friend, colleague or mother might tell you this rule in a kind attempt to keep you from leaping into a poor match out of post-divorce loneliness, but "these limits are arbitrary, and have nothing to do with when you're really ready to find love again," says Dr. A better rule: Spend time figuring out what you want and then decide when you're ready—either for casual dating or a new relationship. This rule got its start back when nearly all men had more disposable income than women, who were probably dating while still living in their parents' home.
It's mighty old-fashioned to be so demure with a new guy that you don't reveal your true wishes for what you want out of life.
In the past, you may have been told to keep your desire to have children, for example, under wraps out of fear that you might scare away a guy who isn't quite ready to settle down yet.
But that sort of thinking might cause you to overlook the quiet-but-intriguing guy whose company you enjoy even though you don't feel a spark just yet.
A better rule: "Sexual chemistry is important, but you may not feel it initially," says Dr. "It can develop after you've known someone for a while." That said, adds Dr. " If you're truly not feeling it, it's better to let things go gently now rather than hang around waiting and hoping for a match to flare. Don't reveal your desire for children, a new career or any other life goal.
A better rule: "Let the connection between the two of you develop, and allow sex to happen organically," says Dr.
Lewandowski, whether that takes a week, a month or more.
The point is that rules don't help you figure out the right time to have sex––your own feelings and instincts do, says Dr. And two, "men are as afraid of rejection as you are," says Dr. "A guy who's interested will be relieved that the burden's not on him this time." Photo: i Stockphoto 3.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating